Friday 4 October 2013

Identity Twerk

Today I'm sad.... To all who think they know me...i never am... And like any normal Human being...(gosh i hate normality)...... Ek het my dae...

Its quite a lovely thing to be truthful... don't worry angsazange ngayengwa... i just realise that a lot of people are dabbling in the art of double lives. I Call this an art as it requires meticulous precision and attention to detail in order to not be caught out...

For as long as i can remember, I've been a keen observer of Human behaviour and i always gave people the 'bentafit' of the doubt... even when my parents were warning me...  I remember once, i was watching some show and a guy named 'Phomola' was on there, guy had been in jail a couple of times and His mom was just fed up... she tried to help him but...hay kabi, rents often don't ask how to help...they just steamroll through ish in there way...mostly cause of their desperate need to help us...Any who... Guy told his story and i was in tears... Spoke about how he grew up in a hard way and how poverty stricken they were at home, he finished matric and looked for a job but found none...like most young mense, he had started drinking long before this and by now, one can imagine how it had worsened...

His mom was struggling raising him and a few other kids on her own.. so as the only man in the house he attempted to help his mom by joining some friends in what had become there employment.. yes it was a choice, a pretty bad one at that and he owned up to it... He served time and after a few years...when i say few, note...angsazange ngakhumbula...he came out with a better vision of what he wanted his life to be like... He wanted to start a car wash/ braai there by his kasi, drew up a business plan..took it to a youth dev centre and applied for funding... funding was granted and he went and got the jita's he was stealing with to come through and start over... jita's beat him up and took the money and left him in a stolen car.. and so the story went....what pains me is that immediately when he got help, via funding and therapy, it got so much for him and he couldn't believe it...so much so that he felt if he got disappointed this time it would kill him...he hung himself.

I don't remember crying so much for a guy I'd never met... but for me this touched me primarily because of the goals and visions he shared that nobody else knew.... people knew 'Phomola' the drunken thief.... and lets face it... double lives are tiresome...and most of us live them...

Its a fact that those people who can actually hide who they are around people have there reasons...however valid or daft.... but at some point it points me to something a friend said.... NO ONE IS A LIVING ISLAND BECAUSE WE ALL WANT TO BE ACCEPTED....we have friends/ acquaintances because we all want to be cared for.... to know that iemand at least spends a few seconds thinking about you... and because we like to talk....

and for that we find photocopies in the street...walking, talking, dressed and ready to be a copy if that is acceptances pay... Its quite sad how i didn't know what conforming was until Grade 8 when we read the road not taken... I realised that time that I'd rather take the road not even seen... because i refused to let myself get caught up in a blow by blow rendition of what others termed a normal person...

And of cause i did what everybody did at that time... tried my best to be different... so much so that at school i was one mens and at home i was a diffs person... ekerk angsakhulumi...i sketched something and called it dice face.... its quite self explanatory... it was like a dice but with different faces on each side.... whoever came from the left met the face and personality on the left and etc.... it was one thing, just like us, but was 3 dimensional....

I dare say that we all have gone through many phases before coming to know who we are...if we ever get there at all... and I'm not ruling it right of verkeerd i just realise that when those two ...or however many...people meet, and reach a consensus that they cant swap roles any longer.... you will feel tired... realise then that you will start questioning your existence and at that moment everything that could possibly go wrong...shall...most then resort to suicide.

others often resort to the devil attacking them...or joining things that promise to bring meaning into there lives... People are quite predictable hey... Learn to discipline yourself MOTHO..... Take responsibility for your thought processes and where they lead you.... there's no enemy attacking you...akhekho futsi,bantfu labansundu loniloyakho... ... It boils down to the decisions you took with whatever knowledge you had at the time...

Angikho lapho but its quite relevant to what I'm trying to bring across.... Stop living a dual life.... its tiring and confusing....life and its living give us a good enough run around as it is....never try and be a person rooted in something while your still finding yourself...quite interesting wording there, you cant exactly loose yourself... i digress...go through the motions, the phases and experience what you will.... but don't skip all that and be a conclusion your clearly not....

Its like a cake that sees one that's already baked and iced... however much it spreads icing on itself it'll always be outa shape ...oozing and dripping...and unbaked, nobody could ever eat from it...trying to be the baked cake in front of others....but being a premix before its fellow premixes, because they know who it is and what potential it holds.... that cake will never rise if you were to bake it, it would be crusty and all...and would probably be thrown away........

There is only one you....you know which it is when your around other people and cant be free to say whatever you want out of fear that they'll judge you... the person you try to be  before die mense is not you...

STOP TWEAKING THE REAL YOU FOR ELKE TOM, LIHLE AND JUMAIMA....DON'T FIGURE THAT THEY WONT ACCEPT YOU WITHOUT EVEN TRYING THEM.... VALUE YOU ENOUGH TO WEAR YOURSELF ELKE DAG.....

Speak out when its difficult...and let people help you.... we've gone through it...we conquered it....Stop saying one thing and doing the next...stop portraying one character... and being the contrary to others...stop living today as though you have one life in Amsterdam and one in SA...don't be afraid to be you, the one and only...nobody else can fill that posie...cliche i know..but so true..you are who you are for a reason...practise what you preach and improve what you tell others to...LIVE.

Find joy in yourself and be you...don't allow your identity to jiggle up and down to the worlds tune...NOBODY DOES YOU BETTER...

Consider it pure joy

Tuesday 24 September 2013

Heritage.... Its all about the tree's roots

So its heritage day... never exactly knew what we were celebrating today... culture , tradition or roots.... until somebody said it in Swati... Imvelaphi.... which are roots...

Guess I've always appreciated the Africanness of South Africans..... those things you'd never find an American doing... hayi emadloti but like the shangaan dancing, the house painting and alles..
People often go on the 'if you dont ken where your from, you wont know where your going'... so i guess His-tree is all about the roots...the seed first planted...andazi if i'm making sense...all i know is that its important to know kutsi uvelaphi... those stories cant end... know your clan praises and teach others... understand where they originated and why...

I'm not on my usual rant until its long enough stance today coz its Herit-age manje... So i guess to commemorate it I'll just slaat 'n ou poem and hope you consider it pure joy....

From the swig of your veg looking cup,
I find a bitter strength even in the way you ferment, up
in the sky, the sun seems to be undone with you
gold brown dusted sheets that we call skin in view
that messy throng of black nettles that could hide all global secrets crowns you
the very ground you beat with heavy burdened feet, adores you
produces the life and soul of the soup you serve still you pursue
better lands that will bend themselves in soil and be true
yielding all they could, in salt water sweat and toil to bear anew
and better yet to produce of your wives the bottl'ar view

strength beating about the grounds in a rhythm that grips
the world as that carriage of good load dips,
directions etched by the sway of your hips
from afar the world pants to hear of the wisdom of the whisper of your lips
and in silence, you womb quips
Mothers come to you for what they term nursing tips

Even in your wrong,
Your shoulders are strong,
Carrying hope unilaterally throughout the minds of time in song
you, listen filter and emancipate the clashing gong

And yet you are fierce when enraged
The liberation calls to you, caged
and you plant peace tree tea's, when blood has been waged

But still it is your drum that soothes nations
parts and echo's back forlorn generations
It defies all limitations
Setting pathways home with fruitful plantations

And when you dance the moon stitches symphonies
Igniting truth, dignity and freedom into heartfelt harmonies
Which blot out all past, present and future soliloquies
In unity the people reach deep into odysseys
Triumph over all hypocrisies

Still you allow, hunger to entice you
watching for patches of material you made to match your hue
Having ID crisis's when Home affairs have told you
You are of colour,patterns, free frolicks and morning dew
of water, nature and shrubbery that naturally cares for you
You are of age old foragers and kings and queens, take your cue
Still you allow hunger to entice you...



When you wake to peaked horizons, thoughts of failure and the beating sun
Mama Heritages ponders....Iphi imvelaphi yakho Mntanami?...Where are you rooted Son?

Happy..(if that's what they say vandag)...Heritage day....
Consider it pure joy....



Friday 13 September 2013

Inevitability: Consider it the purest of joys

I haven't written much from end of August, primarily because i went home..... now home to me is the place to reflect, heal and meet with peace...Not because of the environment there... but because of the silence.... meditation on the things I've been through , am going through and still will go through is as easy as closing your eye's.....

Lets just say, that is the place to be for me..... no noise, no people... just I and Silence.... Golden.. that ain't what I'm writing about so Chill die guava...Its more along the lines of a reminder....my topic, that is...

We all tend to have the 'regret syndrome' and that other one lbayi bitha ngokukohlwa, pecelethi forgetfulness... I mean cabanga nje, since you were born their are a couple of things that have happened to you, some by your own instigation, some by others' inception and some just for just...for control ane...You passed them, however sad, painful, funny or vague....didn't matter the time span.... some your still in the process cause you lie in hope that there's light at the end of the tunnel....and have been passing them...yet in the present situation you believe you won't.... hoekom?

I'll share something that's been very personal kumi....mainly because I don't like talking about the troubles I met along the way....rather the lessons they taught me....I feel it might be necessary for my point to be fully understood....

There was a time a doctor, actually two, told me I'd never walk again.... Lying on that hospital bed was already the worst it could get, at that time, i was mad at the world for letting me, a kid, go through the things i had and not even lending a hand....or at least bakhuthe kutsi sekwanele....[translated: or at least to just tell life that it was enough]... I was mad at that 48 999 999 people in South Africa, basing it on the fact that there were so many people but not one ever offered help....they actually did, but so bind in my emotional stat... i was blind to the help even.... cause i just wanted to stop feeling pain.... It was a lovely pity party...no guests... just me and my pain...

For me everything that could go wrong... just did.... it was the worst time in my life... and guess what? it was to some extent, my own doing... I was 15 years old and already... i did not want life and its living.... if this was it...then nje, dankie ngyabonga.... sale ungtsatsa Jesu...

I felt quite mad and i resolved to sleep....there were brief bouts of consciousness in there but they felt like the dream....sleep so you wont feel... Days OF NO FEELING..i termed them.. But cause this is life.... i had to wake up.... 3 days later....and guess what... sleep didn't take away the fact that i couldn't walk....but i had the most wonderful feeling to have ever crawl around my heart.....PEACE...

that for me was a defining moment in terms of troubles and such....I made it through.... and bona ke... i got the most amazing walk ooit...Lmao... I guess at that time, having overcame lead me to know that as long as I'm still standing I'll overcome...Ish will knock me to my knee's and still Through Daddy, I'll overcome...cause i stood up against the odds

So here's what I Am saying; "You've gone through ish and overcame, stop sweating what is or is coming.... remember that you got through that last time, and how you thought it was the worst time ever , worst challenge you could ever face..... Its a given that you'll get through"...

I'm not trying my hand at motivating but at pure sense..... I went through that without tears... but yesterday, hayi kudzala, i cried because of a memory stick.....LMAO...sounds pretty ridiculous doesn't it, that's coz it is... the fact is your never in a situation for too long...unless you make it a norm for your everyday life, but that's another layer for another day....

Bottom line, don't get into a frenzy cause your faced with a situation you reckon is tough.... it has happened before... you got through it.... LEARN THE LESSON: WHEN THESE SITUATIONS COME, YOU GROW.....its inevitable that you will overcome....you've done it so many times.... just Consider it pure joy... that your growing, being chiseled.... stop gooing groot bek oor al jou ongelukke.... its not gonna help with niks.....

Ok, so your complaining.... all that does is draw you to the problem, in which you'll never see the solution cause you keep seeing 2y-xz = b.....gosh i hated that, why couldn't we just use numbers....it was math class ane, why were we using English curricula then?..... i digress, i apologize, it was just illogical but getting back... when you see pain/hurt/disappointment and all those depressing feelings/situations as growth, you make your stay in them pleasant and thus finding a solution is easier because whether your in pain or not, you are joyous......

Stop regretting things too, that never works....stop questioning why things happened.... they did...finish and klaar and you have no power to change that...yekela nje, quit, kutilimata in such a way...oCoulda been shoulda been abasebente nakancane....these are just elements of living in your past... and what chance does your future have of being better, if you meet it wit your back too it... next thing you know, nalokho adds on to that bleak past you keep wasting.... growth walks in and your still stuck on the 5 minute quiz it last left you with..... yeyi, kaw'yeke ukuzmoshela ixesha.... live, grow... and for Pete's sake turn around...

The future has some fertiliser for those roots...a clipper for those branches and seasons for those leaves.... ain't no tree has ever died from growth, so just bend with the wind...and when its gone assume a better position...and bear fruit..

Growth is  inevitable and thus these situations are inevitable....simple....that's what started this blog.... growth, learning as i do....and considering every moment Pure joy...

James 1 v 2-4

"2 Consider it pure joy, my brothers, whenever you face trials of many kinds, 3 because you know that the testing of your faith develops perseverance. 4 Perseverance must finish its work so that you may be mature and complete, not lacking anything."

Tuesday 27 August 2013

Line up: Tolerancia

So against my better will and want, i have to use the proper dictionaries....you know scampto is still in production....in order to actually get this word in its proper frame and glory....Tolerancia....       

The oxford dictionary says:" 1 [mass noun] the ability or willingness to tolerate the existence of opinions or behaviour that one dislikes or disagrees with:"

The Longman Dictionary says;" [the] willingness to allow people to do, say, or believe what they want without criticising or punishing them"

ah yes....that BEAUTIFUL WORD, TOLERANCE. We have all been thought a mere fragment of it... In society , keep a good front, and don't offend anyone...but when your back home, or in a comfortable space....yidl'umcoco ngalendzaba... The other day i had a great spraakie with a guy who read  this blog.... guy felt that to some extent i was forcing my views on people....deep stuff hey....

I then again explained to him, that i love learning, whether its about life, freedom, diversity, cars and nature.... anything, i absolutely love learning... and i have realised that when you say you love your neighbour, you share with them.... and thus i share what i learnt.... my point of view about it... i share what has helped and still motivates me... So the choice to read really is up to any individual.... I don't believe in force in such cases....

Guy said i was being all smart... i laughed but realised something.... it is his opinion... and he is fully in titled to have it.... i may not like the fact that it was meant to offend me, but this was no debate....i wasn't gonna sway his opinion.... i was gonna let him have it....pun unintended...

See betunana.... i typa realised that as people, we like to be right....I often say to those around me that i don't like rulers.... its a strange old thing.... i honestly don't mean to not like it.... but it is solely because it has this uncanny way of just showing up your line, which you envisioned as perfect and straight....to an old crocked line, that shouldn't even be called a line......

I should like it because it corrects my line but hey.... i preferred my line anyway.... mainly because it was of my own doing, something to be proud of....( i know, all this fuss about a line....)...but nonetheless...it was my own...i liked it phela i drew it free hand awa...but with the stepping in of this wretched ruler....i start to see mistakes, curves and skewness within what i deemed as perfect....and guess what...so do people...

what you thought was right...your perfect line...will be introduced  to what is right....the ruler...and it will annoy you... peeve you... but its for your benefit.....LINE UP.... Correction has always been about care....it hurts yes but it has....BUT before being corrected....you deemed your line as straight and thus a ruler to show up other peoples 'straight line's'.....not knowing the full length of the facts....

Our straight lines are our opinions....and growth is our ruler...it chisels us to perfection...ad thus it is essential to be humble and accepting of people and their opinions....We all have different beliefs and values, we are all driven by different things and thus the discrimination of ones thought processes and perspective is illiterate and wrong..

sure, Sophie asimvisisi but asingamvaleli ngephandle.... sure unelitinyo lelisnaaks but xola sha....akakatenti.....loosely translated, 'sure Sophie is a puzzle but lets not exclude her for such, even if that one front tooth is abit weird and funny, she didn't put it on herself'......the way of tolerances says;" I DON'T LIKE IT BUT I WON'T DISRESPECT, DEGRADE OR HURT THIS PERSON BECAUSE OF IT"...

What I'm initially saying is, we need to learn to tolerate that people see differently from us.... that's why we are individuals, don't make someone feel as though they are uneducated or lesser of a human being because of their point of view....it may look/sound foolish to you.... but you yourself have yet to measure up to the ruler.... nobody in this world has an opinion that is fully correct or fully verkeerd..... we are all still living so we are all still learning.....

as a person, open up an environment of tolerance.... i mean people in Musina tolerate the heat, people in Mpumalanga tolerate the mango tree and those in Durban tolerate the mobs that come over in the Festive season....vele, iholide iseDeben... They don't have to like it... but it is tolerated just the same....In a certain degree it is the acceptance of the fact that we are diverse, and the respect of that factor all together....the only way you will ever learn is to tolerate.... 

Don't mistake this for acceptance, that in itself is another thing for another day....but they do interlock somewhere in there....but as a person....rather agree to disagree...accept that people are different and that their opinions are formed through their experiences and the information that has been opened up to them, Jonga Mfo... nawe ezi Experiences in which you formed your opinion on happened to you.... i may detest your opinion....absolutely think it is absurd but i must respect the fact that it is your own... it is personal and that your full heart is vested in believing it...



Respect people enough to respect their opinions... Bishop D. J Comfort once said;" if you don't know it or agree with it, don't critisize it....God hasn't given that revelation to you yet..it has not yet applied to you...so shut your mouth about it"..... 

I MAY NOT LIKE NOR AGREE WITH WHAT YOU ARE SAYING BUT FOR THE PURPOSE OF TOLERANCE I WILL MAKE SURE YOUR VOICE IS HEARD AND THAT YOUR THOUGHT PROCESSES ARE RESPECTED, I WILL NOT FIGHT YOU ON OUR OPINION BECAUSE I HAVE BEEN TAUGHT BETTER.... MFO I TOLERATE YOU.....AND....

I consider it Pure Joy....



Monday 19 August 2013

In the beginning was a Word

We honestly don't know what hurts a person..... we don't know what makes them tick, we don't know what they think when they are alone....and thus our words must be sweet but true....

I honestly don't understand why as people we leave things to fester when we could just find relief.... like for instance, i offend you.... you contemplate whether to tell me but then decide against it.... I'm oblivious to this
 ( i can't read your mind....you know this).....now every time you see me, you feel your blood boil, your breathing shoots up and suddenly nje you wish to kill me....I'm oblivious to this..... so knowing you didn't and don't plan too ever confront me..... you pretend....and I'm oblivious to the fact that i lost a friend...but i have.... looks/sounds (both are wrong but nje) petty ne...... that's cause it is....(notice how utterly and totally oblivious I seem to be)....

What was the easiest situation in the world festers into a hate so immaculate that it can drive anyone to extreme lengths.... we have been taught never to say anything...never to pick fights....we've conformed to the misconception that talking doesn't help.....by the very people who say " umntwana longa khali ufela embelekweni"...meaning 'a baby that doesn't cry dies in the womb'.....

Ima revert to music, theirs a gospel artist, Donny Ngwenyama, who sings a song that says; "ufelani ungakhulumi, ufelani na unga khali, ngabe utolil'usizo".....roughly translated ' why are you killing yourself by not talking or crying cause you could've gotten help...( yeah...i translate manje...mense want to keep up shem) it is the most simplest thing....why hurt yourself for what will feel like an eternity....WORDS WERE CREATED TO BE SPOKEN...

Some people aren't friends anymore because they refused...(not couldn't....it was a choice so wouldn't/didn't want to)......to say sorry, they refused to sit down and talk....they let a 5 second word simmer into an emotional life time feeling they term hate.....(i say term because once they do have that much needed talk.....they simmer down and like each other again....they meet outside this feeling"....I hate shows like  doctor Phil and your Tyra banks talk show... because they show the dumbness...dare i say...of the human mind... so we couldn't talk until we got to TV..(whooops.....i said it).....we couldn't find a mediator in our lives......to the point where we will pour out our hearts on Tv....nes soos 'n victim..... give me a break assemblief.... especially during ezi shows

Are we that petty....? really? does our mind really dislike us so much that it would disgrace us kaso in front of the publics nje....? I refuse  to think so.... wars and genocides are started because people refuse to talk.... i would rather incite my friends as well then we'll org a quantum to take us to you so we can hit you...vir eng? haw kodwa can we just be practical...."hey listen, what you said didn't it well with me, can we discuss it?"....simple is it not...

Many people use the excuse that people don't listen....lemmi ask you this then, do you ever try? Approach is as much a part of this as the fixing things now is....  you cant talk like your farting....have relief but leave a nasty backlash in the air....you have to be controlled...realizing that shouting only deceives you into thinking you have more bravery than you actually do....don't overreact or over-think...breathe and get into a space where you'd prefer people to approach you in when your wrong.....believe me, the concept do unto others took me years to learn...but its a necessity in approach.....

WORDS HAVE THE POWER TO CURL AROUND A PERSONS NECK AND MAKE IT LOOK LIKE SUICIDE....BUT WORDS ALSO HAVE THE POWER TO BRING SUCH JOY, THAT ITS A FRUIT THAT CAN BE EQUALLY SHARED BY A WHOLE NATION.....Words are power, they are used in speeches to convince you, rallies to inform you, songs to sooth you and utterances to converse with you..... WORDS START WARS AND END THEM BUT MOST IMPORTANTLY WORDS PREVENT WARS..... the simple decision to speak now and heal now....to admit your mistake now and to apologize now....

the decision to say it now, to not let a feeling fester, to be honest to yourself and those around you....the decision to open up now.....may be the difference between the prolonged life of your relationships....or the death of honesty, trust, faith and hope...the intro of la disappointment.... Fix things now, that's where they  began...let it be where they end... jho motho, ensure that you dont have regrets....

After all the well of wisdom, coincidentally called the Word, does say..." the power of life and death is in the tongue"......so out of the abundance (what fills..or..the truth)...of the heart, may your mouth speak.....prevent...and prolong......Say it now, today...say what you need to say....in the beginning was the Word....say a Word....

Consider it pure joy

Sunday 18 August 2013

Choice...not just in S.A's Toilets

I always ask myself why the free condoms are named choice.... why not the right choice, since it's considered that.... but it occurred to me, it isn't to pressurise someone into taking them, or into believing their a right choice... it is so this can be "a choice you take"...pun intended.... after you've decided....

Choice: via scampto dictionary...(yes not Oxford, not Longman but the base of this blog...scampto)...A decision to do something.....Highlight Decision....I cannot stress enough how much all things are a choice..... in this day and age we are convinced we are 'backed into corners' and thus have 'no choice'..... what utter delusion.... every decision you make( look at how choice is already there within 'decision) is a choice.... the choice to believe you were forced into something is in itself a choice.....

NOBODY CAN STRIP YOU OF YOUR CHOICE UNTIL YOU LET THEM, BY BELIEVING THAT YOU HONESTLY DON'T HAVE A CHOICE.......We never learn do we.... the choice to get up in the morning is not considered one as its considered your habit... and so it is that we create habits of our choices... so much so that it ends up really becoming a routine to make a choice.....

I had a convo with some guy once and he said; " the capacity and knowledge to know that all things are a choice, is proof of intelligence." Stuff that.... people don't want to seek knowledge....they prefer to flow with the times, not be left out.... One pastor said, "the first thing most people reach for in the morning is there cellphone, why? Cause people have "left behind syndrome"".... think about it, the first ish you'll check is your social networking accounts..... just to keep updated about whatever whoever updated..... it isn't all people, ngyati shem... kepha liningi...

Gone are the days when we could just let our yes's   (if spelling is verkeerd....whooo Goerge is not nje my lingo) be yes and no's be no's..... there is no such, we make choices all day everyday.... we choose to do things we don't wanna do want chomma moet maar happy wees oor my.... Could we just stop choosing to make excuses... anything you have to justify is wrong... anything you feel you need to justify just shows how many doubts you had about the decision.....

I'm of the belief that one must always be honest with themselves.... even in the harshest situations.... yey maaan just look in the mirror and speak to yourself.... A MAN WHO CAN LIE TO HIMSELF HAS A LIE FOR A LIFE... Live and learn...i always say this...in life..(awuzwake.... when people say this...its always a cliche....kodwa bare with me "....the truth is necessary. See how all people...( guys too...mhhhmmmm)... always consult people for advice on situations (still trying to be current....what does the world do esimeni esinje?) then take the advice and blame people if it backfires.... khula and learn that mistakes are teachers.... you chose to take the advice and implement it.... this person you asked was merely telling you what they believed they'd do...(coz half the time...they actually do something else).....you thought about it, weighed the options, considered the consequences...mind you that last step is overstepped by most....and then took a decision.... So nje, STOP THE BLAME GAME...

TAKE DECISIONS, MAKE CHOICES.....BUT DO SO WITHIN YOURSELF....FOR YOURSELF..... I'm not saying advice is wrong, im saying, let it not outweigh your thoughts on the matter.....

CHOOSE TO MAKE A CHOICE.....THE CHOICE IS YOURS....

Consider it pure Joy......

Monday 12 August 2013

Walk towards fear.....

We've always been taught kutsi if you don't know something , stay away from it ane? and us 'bornfree's' were also taught ukutsi we must have no fear but....keep it here ne.....lol the things our parents teach us....

My sister once went to a motivational talk and this guy asked for 3 people....(i think...cloudy memory here) to stand up and come to the stage...... hahahahahahahahahahahahahhahahahahahah muntvu lomnyama utak'caza.... you know when you don't know why they are asking and you have the urge to just put up your hand, and your heart is thumping and your contemplating what people are gonna say..... yeah she had that feeling and nes 'n swartie there (I generalize a lot ne?)....decided to stay to keep her hands where she could see them ,in her seat.... the speaker wanted to give the 3 his book which cost about +-R200 but guess what..... mense were so bang to stand because they didn't know what he was calling them for.... " UNGAPHAPHI, HLALA PHANSI NE?

How many times have we had that answer in math class but been afraid that it's wrong? so we put our hands in our books and wait for the smart ones to answer...... and then its right then you hear a couple of " i knew it"...or my personal favourite....(mostly because of the irony)...'ngishilo'.....nini?

I've always been afraid to tell people how i feel about some topics or discussions.... it's more likely that the 'what will they think of me?' question arises quite alot.... but i have one philosophy ( ave nginemanga njalo...i have plenty but humour me)..... WALK TOWARDS FEAR....

There are so many great things housed at the other side of the fear door, Its like a closed door that your afraid to open coz its you think its another mans house but just open the door..... alot of people listen to house, so much so that when they get to the door, they tune a 'jika utsi' 360 and leave..... My word, the possibilities that lie in overcoming fear are plentiful.....

Bakhiti, A reality we must face is that things we don,t know will scare us at time...... But the benefits usually outweigh the fear.... Gosh we need to grow, in one of my favourite movies, Mel Gibson's Apocolypto, one of the first scenes there, a father teaches his son that fear is a disease and those infected by it are rotting.... he explains how one must not fear and all die goedtjie....

But what the Son does at the end, though some may see it a different way, is he makes fear his inspiration to get things done, to escape and save his fams.... whoooooo that flipping made me jump outta my seat and cheer for this guy. I mean talk about fresh angles..... HE WALKED TOWARDS FEAR.... I literally said it and my mom was like.... aah that's what the word means by saying "Do not be afraid"....Defy fear and walk towards it.....

When lion trainers say to you don't be afraid, they usually mean don't show it fear show it braveness.... i guess that's what I'm saying, don't be afraid of being laughed at because of your difference or dreams, don't fear what people will say countering your honesty, don't be afraid to fall coz you'll get up stronger, shucks don't be afraid to live...... don't be afraid to be hurt.....rejoice at it..... halalalala do a nyana nyana dance njena because it's the testing that ensures you get a qualification...... Motho....(love it when Akhona says it)......

Don't fear to dream, feel, laugh, have a moment, shine and be your best.....fear is that invisible gate that blocks the house, that dog that's constantly barking at you as you want to walk in, that caution sign, it's doubt, its pessimism, that voice that says "there are others who know more, have seen more, have more and are better"; its that voice that says what are you doing?.....TELL THAT ISH YOUR GOING FORWARD..... Let fear be your sign that great things are here...Let it motivate you.... i beg of you.... please toe

Just WALK TOWARDS FEAR, DEFY IT AND REAP YOUR REWARDS

And Consider it pure Joy...

Saturday 10 August 2013

I want to work, have a nxa house, maybe two cars..... a family, hot husband/wife and lovely kids...just enough to get by..... oh shut up!!!!

Akhe ningtjele.... since when did we start dreaming the same dream.I may be crazy but after you get a job people start expecting you to get a house and a carnyana there , phela starters are apparently not supposed to be your Jeeps, Fortuners and Rovers.... NO NO...Polo , Focus or iUno, nel14 seliryt....... My Gosh when did we forget how far our potential stretches coz i do refuse to believe that we don't know....

Now get me right ... if your fullest potential is that then halala mfo... but i cant imagine that that's where we all end up. Today the norm is that uzakhu funda and then work and thats it. Our dreams lie solely in S.A and our jobs are mostly run of the mill.....accountants , lawyers and music producers.... hay kabi am also in the legal profession and for us if you start working at huge firms like Cliff Deker Hofmeyr, you are set for life.... you've reached the pinnacle of your profession.....

my initial problem is not the careers we choose but the state of mind we are under which leads to them, yebo we don't want to be poor hey, but we are raised in such a narrow minded country and the more we stay under this shell the more we become the parents we don't want to be..... Like a brown guy, just like you comes into this patch of land that someone called South Africa and immediately he is a kwang/foreigner......hay suka man.... May our minds open toe

Its our minds that need to be renewed man, When Americans come here its all good but let that Congo man come thru.... yes the diffs is that one comes in with a pass and one doesn't , who the heck cares/......we are all people , no man is better than another, WITHOUT A PEOPLE THERE'S NO COUNTRY WITHOUT A COUNTRY THERE'S NO PRESIDENT, WHY CANT WE COMPREHEND THAT.....

Don't hate things cause you don't understand them, don't judge people coz you think your at a better standing.... Don't take the moral high ground because you had the opportunity to be taught better in your life. We don't have the same lives, we have different upbringings and guess what..... We all carry gold within us... I shall say this once njena..... DON'T HATE PEOPLE FOR THEIR ACTIONS, ALL PEOPLE ARE GOOD, DON'T LET THAT FRAGMENT OF BAD COME IN THE WAY OF LEARNING ALL THE GOOD THINGS AND LIFE LESSONS FROM A PERSON......

Really, theirs no such thing as a Nigerian person..... we are all people, with flesh, blood, feet and armpits.... we all visit the bathroom from time to time... we are people.... who just need to strive higher and realize that we need each other.... phew!!! glad i said that....its rather soppy

The point I'm trying t make is don't have borders or limits in life, if your dream is to work in China don't let the Zuma gates stop you and don't let people talk you out of it...... Black people lets learn to live, see the world , experience and appreciate.... beka lelo palishi pans kancane ufundze maRecipe lamasha.... Don't let what you know now limit what you can know tomorrow.... the word says " WISDOM IS ON THE STREET, LISTEN AS SHE CALLS OUT TO YOU"..... Grab her and wife her... let her open your mind and allow you to question things so that you'll acquire knowledge......

Have goals, dreams and visions and work to see them accomplished, live a meaningful life and enjoy it every moment of every second. Let yourself be immersed in the joy of life and wonder. Pay attention to detail, especially in the friends you keep, the things you partake in and the memories you make..... Play this as only you can.....Yho live bakwethu......Live and when you old and grey chilled on your porch with your grandkid ,ne Oros ngisho leyelOrange mine, ( LEMONADE FOR WHO????? FOR WHAT???? That can just embark toe)....you can say
'I HAD A FULL LIFE AND I ACOMPLISHED".......Thats my biggest dream....to go beyond my ptential and look back on life and smile coz i.... i acomplished .........

So Live, Love, Learn, Experience, and Soar......Acomplish your purpose.....

And Consider it pure joy.....

Friday 9 August 2013

And then there was Eve....

I started this off rambling on about women and men but got to a point where i felt that that area has been overcooked. There's something I've always kept at my hem because its one of those things we sit on as women and girs and just let it crease.

I am not fond of having girls, particularly, as my friends....yess i said it.... Women find ways to complicate and deteriorate any situation without facts nor cleart hinking. i hate to generalize hey but it happens to the best of us, myself included....

Batsi watsindza umfati watsindza imbhokodo.....ave banemanga.... i think the saddest thing I've seen a woman do is slap her poor thigh while her friends look and chant on in support... ninemanga... why is it that we take ourselves and moes maar make a spectacle of ourselves in front of people. Going around beating girls for joling your guy.... i may be behind ngesyllabus but i do know kutsi if a guy kens that his joling you and asks another lady out, its not the ladies fault. I've seen weaves fall off after fights and i always ask myself.....WHY???

We have forgotten our worth as women and thats why , i believe, guys can just do what they will with us. to date a man while knowing he is married is proof of how insecure one is. and we cannot blame the media for our thinking, ALL THINGS IN THE WORLD ARE AN INFLUENCE.....THE DECISION TO ACCEPT OR REJECT LIES WITH YOU.

Im not a size 32( i heard that that's the size to be theses days......)..... im big and i love it. I accept that their are cloths that were designed without me in mind...(.however true that is, its not fair,) and that i should not test to see how far material shall stretch(eish i wanna cry when a phat madam does this(/o\)...it sinks into the potholes, potbelly and all them other pots). why? Cause i know, im a beautiful woman and whoever does not see nor appreciate that is not meant to be in my life. Im a women who bears fruit, for the refreshing of thirst and uhnger to those around me and the regeneration of my knowledge and character within them.

It's a choice to believe that your all this.... Nobody will tell you, but when you can look yourself i te mirror and say it knowing you believe it ...nobody can take it away from you. not comments nor gossip.

When you are stable within yourself, men too, nobody can ever dethrone who you are, how do we see that?

From the abundance of the heart.....your mouth shall speak......

Happy Womens Day.....
I consider it pure joy....



Thursday 8 August 2013

So here I am in big old Jozi..... this was the place that was supposed to make us small town bumkins shiver in our boots..... refreshingly it isnt all it was made out to be. this place is as harmless as Nelspruit itself, yeah you occationally witness that one robbery, those three nyana beat downs at the Zim bus terminals and have the ocassional indian swear at you (huh.!...ngyakena,) but other than that it has its mense and it moves.....rather fast.

i'm not of the belief that a place can change yo, rather i believe that change is a choice and thus it is taken with the full accounts of where or how far the decision extends..... so im quite surprised with our beautiful small town bumkins who come here and suddenly can't cope, next its a ciggie or three, then sum groving all the way to hatfield....then exams.......the fail of your life....

I myself dont party but am not about to stand tall and tell mense to get rid of that life.... its yours , your grown enough to ken reg from wrong, but i do need kutsi adaptation is a skill for survival. Learn to balance school and life and don't hang on to the 'party so much'...... You found it here and guess what....ned when they done burying you they'll throw a nxa good ridance party net vir jou.....after tears....

Learn from your youth, so that you may share with the next ones....live and learn... then teach

I consider it pure joy......