Looking for Pneuma: The Odysey

So before i begin, I'd like to apologise for the lack of posts on my side.... 2014 started out as a year in which I believed that I would relish this opportunity... boi was i wrong... In order to consider it pure joy, certain things need to try you and you need to be in a space that contradicts joy properly...

I have been Considering it pure joy, using the time to realise that if ever i was afraid of death, i no longer am... this year has thought me that wherever the grace of God puts you, He will watch over you... the Man upstairs loves me... with a love i have never ever seen in my life... this year has been my Odyssey to Pneuma....

I know what you're thinking right about now... seyini kemanje in 'pneuma'... I'll scampto dictionary it in a sec but first lets go with a stable dictionary....

pneu·ma

ˈn(y)o͞omə/

noun

PHILOSOPHY

1. (in Stoic thought) the vital spirit, soul, or creative force of a person.

It is also translated as the Holy Spirit, but for all intents and purposes, lets keep it at "the creative force of a person". when i say creative all other people think is expression... hayi Modimo, when i get to this point i just wanna go into prayer until eks nat... ask me why? come on, i dare you... 

Listen creativity is not only displayed in make up and the composition of your cloths... neither is it defined by your hairstyle nor its colour... i have a trusted friend who will be called Pam at this juncture... Pam and I see things in different lights... where i miss a perspective she fills me in and vice versa... we have come to the conclusion that on certain people... make up makes the face dirty....

Now don't get me wrong, I'm not dogging on make up, hardly... I've been known a time or two to dabble in the art of Eyeliner and to play in the puddles of lipstick... and a neutral - nude eye shadow colour.... so understand me... i know we express things in different ways but now I'm raising a concern....

'IS THAT YOUR FORM OF EXPRESSION OR IS THAT WHAT YOU SAW OTHERS DO?'

A friend of mine, bless him and his view once asked me... have you forgotten that there are colouring books in stores... confused, i urged him to tell me why he'd ask me that... his answer blessed me.... he said, "WHY DO YOU DRAW ON YOUR FACE WHEN YOUR EVEN MORE BEAUTIFUL WHEN YOU HAVEN'T? I THOUGHTS YOU EXPRESSED YOURSELF IN YOUR ART, NOT ON GODS."

Make up was a means to an end, for you who are now made as hell at me... it substantiates my first point... it's like taking a country bumpkin, not a fence( no offence) to anyone... and putting them in a Balmein dress, Jimmy Choo's and tanzanite Jewellers... it would be beautiful to them... but you could see that it was never there style... and that is my point, we all seen to have one force of creation today... songwriters mold there songs into rhythms they never were, voices are curling and twirling more than the Lord intended and walks are looking increasingly the same...

these are the results of a generation that has invested so much time in unified turn ups, fashion choices and lingo that they'll tell you they have no time to find themselves, they are 'what' they are... 'what'... and not 'who'... 

WHEN LAST DID YOU SIT ON YOUR OWN... LAPTOP OFF, CELLPHONE FAR FROM YOU (you know you can't switch it off), MUSIC OFF AND FRIENDS AWAY... 

WHEN LAST DID YOU LISTEN TO YOURSELF BREATHE?

All things we take for granted, all things we never think to do... you have ten minutes to spare... always... the only limit to that is your mind... what is your creative force? did you even know you had one? what are you doing with it? how does it bring you joy?... where is the life in your spirit? have you ever heard it breathe?

The vital Spirit or creative force prevents sleep... I've booked myself a journey to Pnuema, that's what an Odyssey is, an epic journey... I've discovered with the guidance of how i feel... which is guided by Genesis... God is a creative force... look around if you don't believe it... stare at your ears...

In trying to define a creative force, i found that a creative force is contrary to a destructive one... this is seen in people who express themselves in distorted images... or hold back expression entirely... 

we are an inventive creed of people, whose thoughts and actions never seize to amaze... who's lives can be artistry of a beautiful kid... a tree blossoming is a great sight, for in it we have hope of future nourishment and the quenching of thirst and however that tree is painted is up to you... you and your vitality...

I hope we all find our creative force one day, our muse that only we will express in our own type of way... a muse we won't be afraid to offer nothing but the best expression, a driving force, a force of energy and light... A muse that won't need 4 outfits to find... one that won't walk away... one that'll inspire and motivate you...

A MUSE THAT'LL NEVER LOSE IT'S TOUCH...

And I Pray We Consider it Pure Joy...

1. 
   

I Am Myself Separated from you

“I Am myself separated from you.

And that may be the beginning of the end

Or

The beginning of the beginning”

Interesting statement there… I pondered over it and find that a lot can be taken from this simple composition of words. At first my overall view of this was that a sense of independence, for lack of a better word, was the first step in determining where relationships, outside of those you had within yourself, would be directed/ or would go….

Guess this morning; it became apparent to me that as shallow as these words were taken … they were far more profound…

Sometimes the people in our lives are a refuge… a warm safe place for us to escape all the other ugly things in this world…. A place we perceive as a place of safety... maybe even as the ideal place… our Eden…our nourishment, a place of fruitfulness, of sunshine and dare I say, a place in which we resume who we once were… a breed of people unashamed of how naked we are…bare… without fear of who may peek over… because we dwell with the rib of our rib… one who’s heart we daily endeavour to understand…to cradle ours within its warmth… who’s faults we accept and actually begin to fully grasp as times scars in them… a paradise of some sort where we rule by nature… and are actually listened to…

And in us… we reserve a special place… a volatile and delicate part of us that threatens to be our downfall… but still in the knowledge of that notion… we trust that our ‘escape’ will not INTENTIONALLY… funny how we can easily forgive in this part, when we believe it was really not by intention that we landed in the firing line… blooded and tending to a wound those far from us would dare not inflict….i digress…we trust that our ‘escape’ will not hurt us Intentionally hurt us…

See how I intentionally used ’not’ and not ‘never’… even though within ourselves we never want to admit the knowledge of the impending gebeurtenes… hello education system of S.A… its always there…

“I AM MYSELF SEPARATED FROM YOU”… An intrepid realisation…” It Is Not  The People Around Us Who Make Us”… so many people tend to refer to people as ‘their better halves’ or sterlingly say ‘you complete me’… how?, when they have yet to even reach the point of their being, by realizing that one can’t fill that which must first create a glass…(because we are that fragile, just one drop is enough)… to be filled?

Let’s vy with an example… See the general problem with people who are in a certain city/place, is that they don’t tend to see the beauty in the city/place they’re in. They never understand why others find their abode a pleasant sight to behold…people come to marvel at this mundane place... yet evidence of its reality really just bores the heck out of the nomads of the place… why?... It stems mostly from the fact that what you’ve had for long, what you’ve been around, what has become a comfort zone for too long passes through the needle of ‘habit’ and depreciates in value at the introduction of something else, something new…something borrowed…

Like Eden, the true one,… a new and foreign piece of instruction sprouts, tantalizing all sense… and its unfathomed paths just entice your trudging… But following the story… bottom line is we still want for Eden… we long for a place better than the rest of Earth… The Jews longed for Canaan, the Rastafarian long for Zion, the Hindu/Muslim still long for Mecca and Christians, the New Jerusalem… these are all spiritual places… place one finds within themselves… for themselves… and that is the point…

“YOU ARE YOUR OWN EDEN… AND THAT IS THE BEGINNING OR THE END”... who you are, what you find out about yourself, how you see things, how you experience things is the Eden you look for elsewhere… 

  

 Proverbs 4:23 “Above all else, guard the affections of your heart, the emotional attachments you make determine the course of your life.”…

Who you are is found within yourself… at what esteem you hold yourself at… What you’ve built yourself up as… whether extensive of te not… without/separated from whomever you may consider, at any point, whether your rents, friends or current ‘escape’... will either be the life or death you experience when they depart/ leave/separate from you…

We constantly are told that how you visualize yourself is how you unconsciously teach others to value you… plenty of examples… when you see yourself as worthless, your insecurity is displayed to the world and most… let’s give humanity the benefit of the doubt… people in your life treat you as the gum stuck beneath their shoes… that is the beginning of the end… because for all your life… your truth will be that you are worthless… and thus undeserving of the joys and successes of life… I Am myself separated from you… means exactly that… 

Nobody can change things for you but yourself… because although ‘with you’ I may be cloaked, covered or masked… ‘when you leave’ (obviously with what you came with/ brought into this)… I go back to being myself… bare…                         

And that may be the beginning of the end

Or

The beginning of the beginning

Guard your heart… who you are without other people determines your success, extent of joy, peace, confidence, hope, adventure and wellbeing… and that… IS LIFE, The Alpha of all things… or the extent of your sadness, failure, pain and hopelessness…The Omega…DEATH... so in essence, this statement rounded up says; “WHO YOU ARE WHEN THEY ALL LEAVE, IS THE REASON FOR THE SHAPE AND DIRECTION THAT YOUR LIFE AND RELATIONSHIPS ARE TAKING… SO TO DETACH FROM OTHER PEOPLE, SOMETIMES, IS TO GROW WITHIN YOURSELF... TO DEPEND A LOT LESS ON OTHERS IS TO GROW A LOT MORE IN YOUR OWN EDEN”…. Hope my point was made.. And clearly so

“I Am myself separated from you.

And that may be the beginning of the end

Or

The beginning of the beginning”

Kuishi na Kujifunza… Live and Learn…

-      And Consider it pure Joy